When three became two

20th of August 2018.

So apparently I had the intention of starting this blog back in March 2017. These are the pictures I had put up for that very first post. I didn’t get any further than that. I am so glad as the posts would have read very differently and the tone would have been much less positive. I was incredibly angry and hurt at that time. I won’t pretend I’m not still both of those things at times but the feelings are fleeting and much less intense. It is likely I would have used this as a platform to rage at my now ex-husband and that’s not what this is about.

For clarity though this is a heavily edited summary of the last 21 months. In November 2016 when Eliza was just 17 months old my husband of seven years, partner of eleven and best friend of fourteen announced he was having an affair. Cue dramatic move ‘back home’ for me and Eliza. I got a new job as a Specialist Speech and Language Therapist at the local Hospital and lived with my parents for three months while we renovated my grandpa’s house (he had sadly passed away in the August) which then became our home. The next few months were a blur of working and Eliza in full time nursery while just trying to navigate through a new life that terrified me. The divorce was relatively straightforward. A signed confession of adultery always helps in moving things on swiftly and we were divorced within the year. I believed this was the worst thing that could happen to me but in September 2017 my Mum passed away after a six week illness. The ‘illness’ turned out to be lung cancer.

So I think I can be forgiven for not taking up the blog. A new pain entered my life and while trying not to sound too dramatic it is still as fresh nine months on as it was the day I watched her die and so that is all I will say about that at this time.

So here we are. August 2018 and thriving amidst the heart shattering loss. A life that I would not have imagined but that is mine and can go in whatever direction I choose. Mine and Eliza’s adventure together started when I took that pregnancy test in 2014 and we shared it with her Dad for a time but now it is just us two and it has already been unbelievably rich and exciting. My aim is to make her life as full of experiences as I can within my capabilities, while working full time in a job I love. Totally doable. I hope you enjoy reading my posts and that my poor grammar is not too off putting. Despite having a Masters in Speech and Language Therapy a linguist I am not. My undergrad degree was Psychology and so there is my defence. My one regret about not having my ex-husband in my life is that he can no longer proof read for me. He was good at that.