Jet lag with a toddler…

…is totally shit.

I am aware that a lot of my friends have experienced this and so I’m not going through anything new but just thought I’d give my insight on the matter. The sum of which is that it is awful.

I’ve had jet lag many times and it’s not fun but this is my first time with another person to care for. I feel a weird sort of motion sickness, can’t eat and have struggled to sleep myself. The issues arise when you finally feel ready to sleep and the toddler decides that she can’t sleep and therein begins the hideousness.

I’ve unfortunately been smug too many times this trip. Smug on the plane and that back fired and smug after our first night here when we both slept soundly until 11! I’m learning very quickly that being smug only leads to double the disappointment.

I shall give you a summary of night two. I don’t expect sympathy, I am after all in Australia on holiday and yes my diamond shoes are too tight too! but it may be of interest to those of you planning such a trip in the future. Of interest only though. I must be clear that I offer no advice of any value.

Night 2- 12 am. I couldn’t sleep so drank three glasses of wine and wrote about the flight. Which although well received (thank you all) this was my first mistake. I should have gone to sleep with Eliza. As I lay my head down on the pillow I felt her stirring and was filled with dread. I stayed perfectly still (as you do) in a bid not to wake her but the rustling became more intentional and she was then staring me in the eye. Once there is eye contact you know there is no going back.

I tried milk. Yes, she’s three and still enjoys a bottle of milk at bedtime. Judge away. Or if you’re an honest parent do a little nod of acceptance. I’m pretty sure this doesn’t means she’s going to have oral phase issues as an adult and her teeth are perfect so really couldn’t care less. Anyway I digress, basically I tried milk but to no avail. She was up and I wanted to vomit.

We were awake from 12-4. An unfortunate true story. She drank copious amounts of milk and after endless attempts to keep the light off and get her to sleep with the usual tactics I relented and put on the iPad. Yes I know… feel free to judge now. Oh and usual tactics generally consisted of rubbing her tummy but that appears to have stopped working now. No one warned me she’d grow out of that.

So apparently I’m Tim… from Topsy and Tim. This revelation came at about 2.30. I would normally let such a comment pass me by but on this occasion I felt it needed challenging. Why am I Tim? He’s such a whining shit! I felt very upset I had been likened to him and unsurprisingly Eliza didn’t have a valid reason why. I thought it prudent at this time to point out how making comments like that without any basis could be hurtful. When this was met with a blank stare I realised I needed the sleep more than I had imagined.

The night went on. I tried everything and the whole time feeling like at any moment I was going to be sick. Oh to only have yourself to think about at times like this. I’m not ashamed to say I cried again. I was mindful not to let Eliza see though. Some thing about me not wanting to permanently scar her by visions of mummy crying at bedtime stopped me. I also took this picture.

Yes she’s eating rice cakes in bed. I couldn’t have cared if she’d wanted to eat a roast dinner if it meant she would sleep. Sadly, she only wanted the pathetic rice cakes that provide zero sleep power. I sent it to the ex husband and it was met with some advice on jet lag. Something along the lines of ‘you should have gone to bed when she went to bed’. So generally unhelpful but annoyingly true.

Suffice to say Day 3 was not as easy or fun as I would have liked following our lack of sleep but we did see Kangaroos at the side of the road so it was all worth it.

Nb. The above statement is a lie. It wasn’t worth it. I spent the day wanting to crawl into a dark hole.

Update: Just woken up after night 4. We are now up only between 12 and 2 so things are slowly improving. No doubt we’ll be skipping through meadows in another day or two and the tone of my posts will improve.

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